Short answer: The ten "Feelings and fights" questions (Q21 to Q30) reward staying calm and letting things go. That tells you how you react when you are annoyed, embarrassed or disappointed. It does not tell you how much you care about people, and some of the most "settled" answers simply mean not caring.
I'm Muhammad Husnain Zahid. I run this site, and I reread these ten questions closely when I wrote Is the Mental Age Test Fair? Here is how the category is scored, what it rewards, and where I think it is unfair. The wider topic is in Signs of Emotional Maturity, and every question is on the full question list.
How this category is scored
Each question has four options, ordered from the most dramatic reaction to the most composed one. The first option is worth 11 to 16 points and the last option 52 to 60. Picking the first option on all ten would give a category average of about 14, and the last option every time about 56. Picking at random would give about 33.
This is one category out of ten, so it cannot move your final number by much. Going from all first options to all last options changes the total by about four points.
What the ten questions ask
Anger. Someone cuts in front of you in a queue (Q21), or raises their voice at you unfairly (Q28). The low answers are loud, the middle answers are calm, and the top answers are "I genuinely don't notice or mind" (55) and "I let it go" (57).
Disagreement and being wrong. A real disagreement with a friend (Q22), feedback you didn't ask for (Q24), being wrong in front of people (Q25) and apologising first (Q29). This is where the quiz pays the most. In Q22 and Q25 the step from the third option to the fourth is 22 points, and in Q29 it is 21, the three biggest jumps in the category.
Disappointment. A plan falls through (Q23) or a friend cancels at the last minute (Q26).
Waiting and embarrassment. Waiting for a reply to an important message (Q27) and something embarrassing happening in public (Q30).
The most valuable single answer is the top option of Q22, "I've learned which hills are worth it and which aren't," worth 60. I think that one deserves its score, because it describes a skill and not just a mood.
Where I think it is unfair
Not caring scores as maturity. The top option in Q21 is "I genuinely don't notice or mind" (55). In Q30 it is "Already forgotten, honestly" (55). In Q23 it is "I shrug" because plans were always going to change (52). Someone who has handled a feeling well and someone who simply does not feel much will both pick these, and the quiz cannot tell them apart.
Compare Q29, where the top option is doing it easily because being right matters less than being kind (58). That one describes an actual choice. I think the category would be stronger if every top option were like that.
Quiet does not mean calm. In Q28 the second option is going quiet and replaying it for days (25). A person can be silent because they are calm or because they are hurt. From outside the two look the same.
It measures small, safe moments. Queue jumpers and cancelled plans are low stakes. How you behave when something truly painful happens is a different question, and ten multiple-choice items cannot answer it.
How to read your category average
Your result page shows an average for each category. In this one the four options average about 14, 24, 37 and 56. So an average near 24 means mostly second options, near 37 mostly third, and above 50 mostly fourth.
- Low (under 25): your reactions are quick and visible. That can be honesty, and it can be stress.
- Middle (25 to 45): a mix, which is where most people sit on most days.
- High (above 45): composed, or detached. Check which answers pushed it up. If it was Q22, Q25 and Q29, that points to a skill. If it was Q21, Q23 and Q30, it may only mean small things don't bother you.
What this does not tell you
It is not a measure of emotional intelligence, kindness or mental health, and it has not been scientifically validated. If strong feelings are getting in the way of daily life, talking to someone you trust or a professional is a sensible step. The help resources page lists free, confidential support.
To see how the whole number is built, read the age guide. To see your own category averages, take the test. Other categories explained: Money and chores, Body and habits, Screens and slang.
Sources and further reading
- How the number is built: the age guide.
- Every question and answer: the full question list.
Frequently asked questions
How many points can Feelings and fights add to my mental age?
About four points between the lowest and highest possible answers. It is one of ten categories, so no single category decides your result.
Does a high score here mean I am emotionally mature?
Not by itself. Some top options, like not noticing a queue jumper, can also mean you simply don't care. Look at which questions pushed your average up.
Which question in this category pays the most?
Q22, about a disagreement that actually matters. Its top option, learning which hills are worth it, is worth 60 points.
Is this category a test of emotional intelligence?
No. It is a short quiz for fun and self-reflection, and it has not been scientifically validated.