Short answer: The ten "Relationships and people" questions (Q91 to Q100) ask how you meet, comfort and keep people. Every top option describes either years of practice or a step back from other people, and in two questions the quiz pays far more for staying out of things than for the same behaviour described without a story.
I'm Muhammad Husnain Zahid. The ten questions above come first and take about a minute. Below I look at the pairs of options that describe the same behaviour and score it very differently, at the questions that depend on life events, and at what I think is missing. All ten also appear on the full question list, with every option.
The same behaviour, two different scores
Three questions have two options that mean almost the same thing, and the quiz gives them very different points. The difference is whether the answer comes with a story of experience.
| Question | Plain version | Version with a story |
|---|---|---|
| Q100, two people you know disagree | "I stay well out of it" (23) | "I've learned to just not get involved at all" (56) |
| Q93, an old friend after years | "A bit odd but not a big deal" (22) | "Some friendships just have long, comfortable gaps" (54) |
| Q96, organising a get-together | "I'll help but not lead" (21) | "I'm the one everyone expects to organise it now" (53) |
In Q100 both answers mean the same thing in practice: you stay out of it. One is worth 23 and the other 56, a gap of 33 points for adding the word "learned". The quiz is rewarding the idea that you have been through this before and drew a lesson.
I think this is a fair guess about older people, who often say things like that. It is a poor guess about a particular person. A twenty-year-old who has watched two friends fall out and decided to stay out of it has also learned something, and the quiz gives them 23.
Every top option is practice or distance
If you read only the fourth options, they fall into two groups. The first is practice:
- Q92, a friend needs advice: "I've been asked this exact question a lot" (53).
- Q94, meeting a partner's family: "I've done this enough times to actually enjoy it" (53).
- Q95, comforting someone: "I know exactly what to say, and when to say nothing" (55).
- Q97, a younger relative asks for advice: "I have several stories ready for exactly this" (55).
- Q98, someone moves far away: "I've kept friendships going for decades this way" (55).
- Q99, an emergency contact: "I'm already several people's emergency contact" (53).
The second group is distance: Q91, meeting someone new, "Polite, pleasant, no rush to it" (53); Q93, long gaps (54); Q100, not getting involved (56); and Q96, being the one everyone expects, which is a role and not closeness.
None of the ten top options is about how close you are to someone. The nearest is Q95, and even that is about knowing what to say. The category is very good at measuring how long you have been dealing with people and says very little about how well.
Questions that depend on what has happened to you
Several first options describe a life event you may simply not have had: "Not something I've done yet" (Q94, 11), "Haven't experienced this yet" (Q98, 11), "I am the younger relative" (Q97, 9), "Is that a real thing people ask" (Q99, 11).
Someone who has never moved away from a close friend picks the first option in Q98. That does not make them less caring. It makes them someone who has not been through it. The quiz scores the missing experience as youth. Q97 is the clearest: if you are the youngest in your family, the other options all assume someone younger than you, so the first is the only honest pick, and it is the lowest first option in the category, at 9. This is also the widest question in the category, from 9 to 55, a range of 46.
What the middle options show
The third options run from 35 to 37 on every question, and I think they are the most useful ones to read. They describe someone who handles people well with no need for years of practice: "I ask questions and let them decide" (Q92, 36), "I sit with them and just listen" (Q95, 36), "I make it work with real effort" (Q98, 36), "Comfortable, I'd do the same for them" (Q99, 36).
You can pick any of those at any age. If I rewrote the category, the top options would sound more like these, and less like a record of how many times something has happened to you.
What a tenth of the test can do
Averaged over the ten questions, the first option is worth about 11 points and the last about 54. That gap of 43 is in the middle of the ten categories. The four option positions average roughly 11, 22, 36 and 54, and picking at random gives about 31. The top options all fall between 53 and 56, so, like Food and taste, the category is evenly built.
Where the people points come from
The questions come from three places: searches of what people share on social media, ones I wrote myself, and ones I asked friends and people around me about. For the points I looked at how children, adults and older people around me deal with others. Children make friends fast and hand problems to someone else. Adults work at it. Older people have often kept the same friends for decades. I placed the four options along that line.
The points are my own judgement. They have not been compared with real ages.
Where I think it is unfair
It treats distance as wisdom. Staying out of things can be wise. It can also be shyness, tiredness or fear of conflict. The quiz cannot tell them apart and pays the same for all three.
It scores years as skill. A top answer such as "I've been asked this exact question a lot" says nothing about whether your advice was any good.
It cannot see quality. A person with one very close friend and a person with a hundred acquaintances can both pick the same options. Nothing here asks how people feel about you.
Reading your people number
- Under 20: the first two options were your usual picks. Many of these situations may be new to you, or you like to leave them to others.
- 20 to 40: a mix of involvement and caution, which is how most people deal with others.
- Above 40: open the list of your answers and check whether it was the practice answers (Q92, Q94, Q95, Q97, Q98, Q99) or the distance answers (Q91, Q93, Q100). The first says you have been around people a lot. The second says you like some space.
Why ten answers is a weak signal
This category is a tenth of the full test and can move your final result by about four points. How you answer also depends on who you have been with lately. What you answer here is kept only in your own browser, so you can come back another day and compare. The full test shows how all ten categories fit together. I explain how the whole number is built in How a Mental Age Score Is Really Worked Out, and I wrote about the same idea from another side in Signs of Emotional Maturity.
What this does not tell you
It does not measure how well you treat people, how many friends you have or how good a friend you are. It is a short quiz made for fun and self-reflection. It has not been checked in any scientific study. If a relationship is causing you pain, a trusted person or a professional is a better place to start, and the help resources page lists free, confidential support.
Sources and further reading
- How the whole number is built: the age guide and How a Mental Age Score Is Really Worked Out.
- Every question and answer option: the full question list.
Frequently asked questions
Why does staying out of a conflict score 56 in one option and 23 in another?
In Q100 both options mean staying out, but the 56 one adds that you have learned to. The quiz pays for the story of experience.
Does a high score mean I am good with people?
No. Every top option is about practice or distance, and none is about how close you are to someone.
What if I have not been through these situations yet?
Some first options describe events you may not have had, such as moving away from a close friend. They score as young, even though that is only a lack of experience.
Is this a measure of how well I treat people?
No. It is a short quiz for fun and self-reflection and it has not been scientifically validated.